Swing!
by RueNeko
Summary: Hirako Shinji is the captain of the Fifth Division. One day, he finds that the third seat of his division might be up to something, and is determined to put an end to it. Oneshot


_I don't own Bleach or the characters. Neither do I own the opening song by Frank Sinatra.__  
Here is a short one-shot revolving around the Turn the Pendulum arc back. There will be spoilers for those that haven't read that far yet.  
Comment if you have any questions._

**Swing!**

"I've got you under my skin. I've got you deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me. I've got you under my skin."

The music reverberated deep within his stomach. The baritone voice tickled. It was a very catchy tune, and was quite jazzy. Grooving internally, Shinji Hirako stared at the tiny mirror located in his room. Sparse were the decorations in his room. He only kept items that were not personal to him in that room. There was no need for photographs, that humans were so fond of keeping to remind them of the past. Photographs were a rather new fad, and Shinji had momentarily debated bringing a camera back from the human world.

The music stopped. A muffled voice came from the door, too quiet to be heard. Shinji finished adjusting his clothes, and turned to the door, wondering who would grace his quarters at such an early hour. He hadn't even been able to brush his hair this morning, and it showed.

"C'mon in," Shinji answered the voice at the door.

The door slid open quietly and was replaced by the third seat of squad five. One of the few women who could stand to be sexually harassed or annoyed by Shinji. She was somewhat impervious to anything thrown at her. Her mood was always so deadpan that Shinji could not even stir her up my imitating her. He had long given up attempting to torment her, as she was immune. Even to his ugly monkey face didn't affect her. Her face never twitched, even when Aizen assaulted her with his deadly playboy smile. It didn't matter, she wasn't cute anyway, but she was more trustworthy than Aizen, so she could be sent on missions without surveillance. She was useful.

"Good morning, Hirako-taichou."

Monotone, as if she was trying to put him back to sleep. He would die from boredom if he had to listen to her talk much more. It usually wasn't a problem, because she rarely talked or made an effort to start a conversation.

"Whatcha doin'?" Hirako asserted his usually heart-throb smile was placed on his face. He noticed how slightly the third seat twitched. His warm and inviting smile was working, as usual.

"Taichou, please refrain from being so lewd. I simply dropped by to hand this report to you."

His little finger immediately went up his nose. What did she mean by lewd? He was doing his best to be charming. Some women have no manners. She was almost has bad as Hiyori.

"Report? Ya wrote one? On what?" Shinji eyed the dingy paper, wondering if the Soul Society Woman's Club had finally issued him a warning for his behaviour.

"You asked me to follow Aizen. I wrote the details here. He did very little in the day, mostly just the work that you've assigned to him. He didn't even _pick his nose_ without me knowing." She blatantly left off the suffix. Why was that? Was she friends with him?

"Hm~ I don't need it." Shinji pulled the finger from his nostril and inspected it, with a bored look.

"Very well, Taichou." The paper disappeared into her sleeve.

Something was going on, and there was a large chance that his third seat had joined Aizen in order to overtake him. That was one thing he had promised himself that he would not allow during the ceremony in which he became a captain. Most people would probably call him paranoid, but he had already outlived two attempts on his life. He was ready for a third, even if he wasn't one hundred percent sure that it was someone in his squad that was attempting to take his life. There was no certainty, but someone had been picking off captains lately. The thought that another captain may be responsible for the attacks hadn't crossed his mind, since it was less likely.

As his third seat was about to leave, Shinji realized that he had to put an end to the alliance between Aizen and her... If only he could remember her name.

"Wait." Shinji commanded, moving so fast that the third seat hadn't even had the chance to open the door before his hand slammed down on it, to keep it closed.

"I want to know what's goin' on between you and Aizen," Shinji continued, staring at the back of her head. Her hair was dark all the way to the roots, it was as boring as her personality.

"Taichou?" She slowly turned around, so that her faces was within a foot of his neck. Staring up at him with dull grey eyes, she tilted her head to the side, "I simply completed the assignment you gave to me. I haven't had contact with him in the past month, I've simply watched. He seems to walk around more at night than he used to, when we were in the academy together."

"Oh~ So why do you call him that way?" Shinji stared down at her through thick lidded eyes, completely serious. It was strange that he was more handsome, or perhaps cool, when he was serious.

"Why should I show respect to a man that has nothing to do with me? He's never taken an interest in what I do, and I would prefer to leave it that way. Now, if you'll excuse me captain, I'm needed to help get the new members from the academy comfortable."

She reached a hand behind her back and slid open the door. Shinji watched her back as she left, walking towards the room in which the new recruits were staying. It was strange, he had never noticed that the third seat of his squad was sharp, she had always seemed rather slow. Or perhaps she knew something more than she had told, but he would not find out today.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ah~" Shinji thought, staring around the hot spring. It was filled with the light and flowery scent of women. It was one of his favourite places to relax, mostly because none of the members of his squad would show up here. This was a place where a majority of women came, while men would spend their time training in a separate building. The hot spring was a wonderful source of spiritual energy, and helped heal the body and restore the energy of whoever bathed in it. It was believed to grant power to some people, as well. This wasn't the reason he was sitting in the tepid water, though. He wanted to watch women, big or small, flat or robust. He enjoyed viewing all of them. His favourite, though, was the cute girls.

Too bad that many of the women who frequented the hot spring were not around today. Or most of the time that Shinji had time off. It was enough to make him wonder if his manly charm was broken, or something.

The co-ed hot spring lacked the normal body count, but the main problem Shinji was mulling over was the relationship between Aizen and the third seat. She had no respect, or so she had said, for Aizen. Shinji had never really discussed things like relationships with Aizen, so he had no idea where this lack of trust had come from. It was a good thing to keep the two separate, though, in case they could team up. This was probably the best course, for his own safety. He would assign someone else to keep an eye on Aizen for a while, and ensure that minimal contact was made between the two members of the fifth squad.

Shinji relaxed, sinking up to his nose into the water. His golden hair floating around him like golden seaweed.

BAM

Somehow, Shinji found his head being used as a stepping stone. The back of his head throbbed.

"What the..."Shinji spun around, ready to punish the insolent fool that had dared attack him from behind, "Hiyori!"

Some women had no modesty. Such a girl was wearing only her towel, though Shinji knew she didn't have much to hide. She looked like a kid, but she hit like a man. There, with a wide stance and a wicked grin stood Hiyori, pleased about the effect of her well-placed kick.

"Oh, my bad, you stinkin' baldy, I mistook your head for a floatin' pile of..." Hiyori's voice trailed off, her eyes darting across the hot spring, to land on her captain. The woman had implanted herself in the water while Shinji was distracted.

"Hiyori, stop tormenting the baldy and scrub my back."

Kirio Hikifune was an attractive woman, but her violent temper was one of the worst in all of the squads. She demanded absolute respect and tolerated no mistakes. In a way, Hikifune could be seen as the most cruel leader of a group of soldiers in the soul society. Not that squad twelve was particularly specialized, unlike squad four. They were mainly used as cleanup of the Rukongai. That usually meant kicking someone until they couldn't remember what day it was, let alone act in a unlawful manner. There was an usually high number of women in that squad, but perhaps that was just Shinji.

Hiyori jumped into the water, and began scrubbing the woman's back.

"I hear you've been having problems with your lieutenant and third seat," Hikifune said, adjusting her position so that Hiyori was scrubbing the right "spot" on her back.

"It's nothin' for ya to worry about," Shinji grimaced, trying to keep a straight face while facing two, mostly naked women. He was obviously failing, and about a second away from a smirking nosebleed. The only thing keeping his face in check was his fear of being turned into ground beef by Hikifune.

"Well, if you need squad twelve's services, all you have to do is send a message. I will make sure it gets taken care of...Ah, now that I think about it, you should probably leave. Captain Yamamoto is heading here right now, for his monthly bath. Unless you want to see old, hairy..."

That was the only hint he needed. Shinji collected his "items" and promptly left the area. The last thing he wanted to see was freakin' old man, hairy, unclothed... Just thinking about it sent a chill down his spine. Dressing quickly, Shinji evacuated the bath house with haste to find his third seat.

And she was right where he expected her to be. His third seat was sitting in the fifth division common room. She seemed to be writing a report – or what looked like a report. The rest of the division should have been asleep on the other side of the common room, which was divided by a thin, paper wall.

"Ah, Taichou! Is there something you need?" The third seat asked quietly, doing her best not to awaken the members in the other half of the common room.

"I've decided that you will be stationed in the human world for a while," Shinji stated calmly, a frown forming on his face, "your current job will be on hiatus until you return, under my command. Ya get that?"

The third seat looked quite puzzled, but nodded in understanding of what she had been commanded to do, "is there anything you need me to do while in the human world?"

That caused a small grin to replace the frown on Shinji's face, "yeah, get me some new records, I've almost worn some of mine out. Oh, and watch for any strange activity while you're there."

Shinji stared down at the report that the third seat had been writing. It was a report on the effectiveness any shinigami presence in the Rukongai and other districts. What a strange woman. It was almost too bad that Shinji had to "banish" the woman to the human world. There was a large chance that he would never summon the woman back to the Soul Society. She might spend a few thousand years in the human world, without any contact from the Soul Society. In the morning, he would appoint another person to take over the third seat. In enough time, the replacement would be not only the third seat in title, but also in reality.

_Well that's all that I have... I hope you enjoyed it. I did my best to keep the characters intact._


End file.
